Monday, October 22, 2007

To Drink or Not to Drink?

I know, not much of a dilemma. Always err on the safe side and drink.

Just kidding. Actually, I'm afraid in a few years I'm going to have to seriously ponder this and I really don't know where I stand.

See, the drinking involves teenagers. And since mine will be a teenager this year, I'm afraid this very dilemma will be coming up.

This weekend we were at a Halloween party. The people throwing the party have a teenage daughter that just graduated high school. At the party she was drinking. Alcohol. In front of her parents. Even with her parents.

I don't know how I feel about this. My gut reaction is that it's wrong. And that the parents shouldn't allow it.

But, I remember being a teenager. And if I didn't do it at home I was certainly going to do it somewhere. And I probably wouldn't be safe about it if I was somewhere else.

I just don't know. I don't want to give my kids the impression that it's ok to break the law, but I do want to make sure they're safe. And making sure they drink at home and don't leave would ensure their safety.

When I hear stories of parents arrested for Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor in these situations I'm sympathetic. Because I know that they were doing what they thought was right. But, I don't know if they are right.

What do you think?

All I know is that I don't ever want to hear the words, "Mom, come do a shot with me!"


CamiKaos said...



While I think it's better that she do it at home I am amazed that parents would allow it at a party in front of a bunch of other people. It is setting a bad example and could really get them in trouble.

At the age of 30 I drink with my parents. Still in my teens... I wouldn't have done it. They wouldn't have wanted to see it. They really subscribed to the "better she do it at home and safe" theory but made it quite clear they would rather I not at all... and certainly not in front of them.

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Yeah, this really is such a hard one. I can definitely see both sides to the coin.

As for us, we have decided we won't drink in front of the kids. Kids are SO quick to say, "but you and Daddy do it . . ." even when they know it's "legal" for their parents to do it, they still like to make that argument. Or at least I did. :) So that's the plan for us.

mielikki said...

You know, I had to think on this one. But, for whatever it's worth, here are my 2 cents.
I was one of those kids who, when I was 17-18, my parents let me drink at home.
Now, they didn't let us PARTY, but, wine with dinner, or wine cooler's on a hot day, stuff like that. My parents drank. They drank responsibly, and they taught us to do so. They always told us they would rather that we drank at home, than got stupid and got trashed somewhere else, then drove, and hurt someone. It's how you present it to kids, I think.
And, I have been known to sit down with Mom on occasion and have a cocktail or two. It's nice, actually.

Redneck Mommy said...

Tough call.

I want my kids to be safe. And to be responsible. And I understand the thinking of better your kids doing it in front of you than behind your back...

Still, when it boils down to it, I know I'll be prudish about it. I won't allow it, and I don't believe their father will either.

But the drinking age here is 18, and once they reach that, I don't think I'd have a problem sharing a bottle of wine or occasional beer.

In moderation. If they were responsible.

And didn't puke all over the inside of my car like I did when I was 17 and had to call my dad to pick me up after my friends abandoned me at a bush party....

Qtpies7 said...

Well, someone told me that it is not illegal to let your child, only your child, have a drink in your home. However, you can't serve their friends. We don't drink much, and therefore our kids don't think its this big deal. We are not uptight, and we teach them that alchol is just alchol, but getting drunk is not fun or pretty. It is dangerous, and ugly behavior.
We have allowed our older kids to taste alcohol, but never do they get a whole drink, such as a bottle of wine cooler, they can have some of it.

All of our children's close friends come from families that do not drink, or rarely drink, and all are opposed to teen drinking, so we are lucky.

I feel your pain, though. We stand by it is not ok to break the law, and that alcohol is not that big of a deal, so wait for it.

Meghan said...

I think I'll let our children drink wine with meals when they're in their teens.

I think.

Then again, my son is 17 months old and my other beab is a fetus. I reserve the right to change my mind.

Jeff & Lisa said...

WOW! What a dilema! I can't believe your daughter is already so old! I remember when she was just a "little girl". She was such a cutie she's all grown up!! Wow!

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

Yeah, we're definitely still undecided. Maybe it'll be a non-issue. We rarely drink and usually it's when we go out without the kids, so they don't see it very often. I definitely drink with my parents now, but I never did when I was younger. Ugh!

Corey~living and loving said...

The thing I am not certain about is....will a teen really chose to NOT drink outside the home if they get to drink at home? Is it really the drinking they are after or the fitting in with their friends and having fun? I mean...will drinking at home with mom and dad make them chose to say NO when with friends?
I tend to think NOT. I tend to think that if they are the type of child that will drink, it won't matter whether they are allowed to drink at home or not...they will still do it with their friends.
I could be wrong....but then I see it as they are drinking both places and I am not sure what purpose that serves.

ugh.....I hate that kids grow up.