Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Get out the Kleenex!

What is it about this time of year?

It makes me all sappy and weepy. Even though I'm not hormonally pregnant this year (imagine that)! Maybe that's why this year is even worse than normal.

I am trying to cherish every holiday with my kids while they are little. I swear, I get panic attacks just thinking about how they will get older and move out. And what if they move far away and we don't spend the holidays together? That causes me some serious heart palpitations! I know my parents are having a hard time with this. All the kids are grown and out of the house. We now have to coordinate with our small immediate family, plus in laws, plus extended families. We'll probably do Christmas with my parents the Saturday before Christmas. This leaves them all alone for the actual holiday. I invite them to come to our house (as we don't like to make the kids travel on Christmas day), but I know they won't. I makes me sad to think that someday that might be us (although I'm pretty sure I'd rather drive two hours to my child's house than spend the day alone).

This year is the first year that Jocelyn can appreciate Christmas decorations. Seeing her eyes light up the first time she saw the Christmas tree brought tears to my eyes. Pretty soon it'll just be routine to her and not awe inspiring . And that makes me sad.

Xander is just starting to understand the whole "Santa thing". It's so funny to hear him ask his questions about Santa and how he gets here and gets the presents here. He doesn't understand why he didn't get a "Diego camera" the other day, right after he sat on Santa's lap. It's so cute to see his innocence. In a few weeks we'll go on our yearly trip to The Polar Express. I can't wait to see his reaction this year. I'm sure that'll make me all teary too.

And then every day our radio station grants "Christmas wishes". People write in about people they know that are going through hard times and that might not be able to provide a Christmas for their children. Then the radio station grants the wish. They give the family clothes, toys, gift certificates to the grocery store, a Christmas tree and usually they help with their utilities and rent. It gets me every time. Every single time. I drive to work bawling like a baby. It's amazing what people can do for each other.

And then the commercials. How about the commercial when the son (he's in his early 20's) buys and suit and shows up unexpectedly at his mom's house for the holidays? Sobbing like a baby here! They tug at my heartstrings!

I guess I'm just turning into an old sap. I'm happy with my current life and I get all weepy when I think about how it has to change. I wish I could just freeze the kids in time. I don't want them to grow older. I want Christmas to be special and cool for them forever. I always want them to spend it with me. I want everyone to get everything they want for Christmas. I want to believe in the good of people everywhere.

So, pass the tissue please.

21 comments:

Laura said...

Awww! I love the sentimental feel of this time of year too. So many traditions, and everything just feels special! I hope my kids grow up loving the holidays and that they take those special memories with them as they enter adulthood.

CamiKaos said...

I feel you on this.

I am so afraid of being alone on Christmas day when K grows up.

Heather, Queen of Shake-Shake said...

You have a few years before the kids lose that holiday glow. Payton is 7 and he STILL lights up when we get out the tree.

Noah said...

We have the radio station thing too and it always makes me bawl. It was the worst last year when I was just barely pregnant with my hormones going totally beserk!

Corey~living and loving said...

I am sappy like that year round...but yes...this time of year brings out hte super SAP in me as well. :)

Great post.

holly said...

i've said for years that when m1 hits ten she's getting the cryogenic treatment.

i haven't gotten into the spirit, yet, though, and in fact i heard john lennon's 'so this is christmas' and i got realllllllly annoyed. that stupid key-change-to-oblivion over and over and over song.

sorry, i just got a little grinchy there.

mielikki said...

I still get starry eyed and a bubble of love when I see the Christmas Tree, Lori. That magic, for many of us, never goes away. And I travel over 2 hours to get to my Mom's house for the holiday.

DIXIECHICK said...

Okay...now you made me cry..stop it! I swore I wouldn't get all emotional this Christmas...but, after reading your post..I feel Less bah humbug..I can't believe how fast children grow...really, they only believe for such a short period of time...I hear you on the moving far away bit..it hurts me that I have not been able to celebrate Christmas with my Mom in ten years..I hope my kids always stay close to me...
Happy Holidays!

Jozet at Halushki said...

I agree...bittersweet days of feeling time pass to quickly.

Let's try to enjoy the magic of the moment in these days.

These days last forever for them...for now.

Amy said...

It is precious to see them and hard to think about it changing. (Especially when looking at the state of grown-up holiday crap, at least in our families.)

I love the name Xander. I have a friend who named her son Zander after I suggested it! They sometimes call him Zan.

CamiKaos said...

I made a grievous error in my post today but it's been corrected now, so you should check back :)

sybil law said...

Haha - you are pretty sappy this time of year! I saw that commercial and thought, "Wow - he finally wore a suit. How's about SOMETHING else for mom! She got gypped!"!
I love the stories of people getting things they need, though. Those make me weepy any time of year.
I don't get all freaked out if Gilda isn't with me for Christmas when she's older. Maybe I'm a freak. I remember going to Florida for vacations in high school and missing Christmas with my family, so I guess I know it isn't anything personal! :)

moosh in indy. said...

I get weepy too, and then those commercials with the dudes slipping their wives diamonds and Lexuses come on and I get all pissed off.

Troy said...

I remember the first time I heard a song on the radio called "Christmas Shoes." I was driving.

Tough burly men like me (*sniff*) don't cry (*sniff*) at those types (*sniff*) things.

Dammit (*sniff*). I hate when I get crap in my eye.

Jeff & Lisa said...

ahhhh, great post. we just did the polar express. Katlyn and Ashton LOVED it! check out aaron's post for some pics...

DIXIECHICK said...

Hey, Lori..thanks for celebrating the Underblog with me...come on over and claim your award.
Dixie

Rachel said...

I am so glad I'm not the only one bawling like a baby in the car.
Those radio wishes and stories just get to me!
This was a great read and I felt every word of this!

Bubblewench said...

pretty amazing post

Becky C. said...

I am the same way. I love Christmas T V shows, but even though they all have happy endings, I always end up weeping.

~Becky

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ohhh I'm so with you on this sweetie. Miss M is like Xander, wondering why she can't have it all now. And she's not sure if she wants Santa to come in the house.

Thanks for the award at Dixie hicks. It nearly made me blub. I will write about it after this weekend is over. It was so cool of you to think o me sweetie.

Hugs. :)

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my God that looks so rude. 'Dixie Hicks'. I hate this keyboard. I need a new one.
That would be Dixie Chick's ok.

Sorry Dixiechick.

:)