I have not dropped dead

maybe from exhaustion, but I'm still here. But, I haven't been on the computer in ages. When I'm home I try to stay off as much as possible. And I actually have already had 12 days off, and I'm working today, then 6 more days off. So, not much computer time

We had a wondeful Christmas. I have found places for most of the toys! Yay me! My parents came down yesterday for dinner and some Wii competition. Let me tell you, that thing is addictive! And so fun for the whole family. Even Xander gets in on the action. We love Mario Party 8, Rayman Raving Rabbids (thanks Bubblewench!) and Wii Sports. The first night my arm was SO sore from playing tennis. And Carissa and Daddy like to box. But, they get all sweaty and out of breath!

We had some portraits taken the day after Christmas. I haven't seen all of them, but you can get a sneak peek here. If you live in the Tucson area, I highly recommend Leah. She is just wonderful. And a lot of fun too!

On the 6th, I'll be back in action. Look for lots of meaningless posts!

A little holiday cheer

Quick update: My mom e-mailed me back feeling really badly. She said she thinks she's going through a depression or menopause because she's not just like this with us, but in life in general. She's trying to get some help.

Sometimes families suck!

Sometimes I hate the holidays. I hate the juggling of family obligations. And the guilt. Oh, the guilt. I wish sometimes that the grandparents and everyone else could remember what it was like to be a young family and have to juggle everything. I wish they could remember not wanting to travel with young children. And wanting to be in their own home for Christmas day. I wish they would remember what it was like to spend Christmas as a small nuclear family and have the extended family 2,000 miles away.

But, this isn't the case. And there aren't 2,000 miles separating us, but 110. You would think it would be so much easier, but it's not. And I know that I put some of the guilt on myself because I'm a people pleaser (it's a flaw I tell you).

I just sent my parents a big ole e-mail about Christmas and visits in general. I pray they don't get mad or defensive. I didn't intend for that at all.

Let me give you some background. I am the oldest at 32. My brother B is 25 and my brother M is 22. I have four children 13, 7, almost 3 and 1. B has three children 10, 4, 1 and M has one child almost 3. B just recently got married. M lives with B and his family. They live 20 minutes from my parents. We live 2 hours from my parents. B and M and their families are ALWAYS at my parents house. Pretty much every Sunday they are there.

We, on the other hand, are not. And herein lies the problem. It's hard to get four kids packed up, make a 2 hour drive, hang out (and mind you it's never just us and my parents, B and M and their families are ALWAYS invited when we visit), pack up again and drive home. And it's pure chaos when we're there. B and M are still pretty immature. They cuss and get the kids all riled up. The talk about inappropriate things and generally cause trouble. My mother is usually in the kitchen making snacks and getting kids drinks and taking care of one of my brother's little ones. There is no time to actually visit or have a conversation.

So, we don't make the effort very often. But, we do invite my parents down to our house. Especially for birthday parties and things like that. But, at least half of the time they make excuses and don't show up. This year they've come to our town (I can't even say house, because one time they came for a soccer game and left from there) four times. And don't even get me started with Thanksgiving last year.

Ok, I'll spill it anyway. I've ALWAYS done our own Thanksgiving, since we've been married. Both families are always welcome, but we always stay home and do our own thing. Last year my parents were supposed to come. But, my dad decided to go golfing that morning. And he was gone for two hours longer than planned. By the time they go on the road the traffic was awful so they turned around and went home. And I had crying kids at the dinner table because they couldn't see Mima and Popa.

So, starting in October, they didn't come to Robert's birthday because M had a custody issue with his son that weekend. And they didn't even attempt Thanksgiving this year. Then Carissa's birthday party was on the 8th, but my mom was sick and they had a court date with M. So, they were going to come to our holiday open house on Sunday, but my mom was sick again. Not that I don't think she was sick, but jeez, something ALWAYS comes up. They never seem to be able to make the two hour drive, yet I'm usually there once a month and at least every other month so that they can see the kids.

This brings us to Christmas. Back at Thanksgiving (I made the trek up the their house the Saturday after so we could be together) we decided that we'd do our Christmas on the 22nd. I wanted to do Christmas Eve because I knew my dad would appreciate that if we couldn't be there on the actual day, but B said they had to go to his wife's father's house that day. So the plan were made. We planned the day for my husband's family around this, everything was good. We were going to try to convince my parents to come to our house on Christmas Eve since they'd be alone.

Except, last night we get a call from my mom saying that B decided they COULD do Christmas Eve. They'd just have to leave around 3:00. And it would mean a lot to my dad if we could switch it to that day. My initial reaction was anger. I was already upset about the cancellations for the last two weeks and this set me over the edge. Why am I now made to feel guilty? I was the one that wanted to do Christmas Eve in the first place!

Maybe I'm being spiteful, but I told them no. I told them that we couldn't do it. I told them that we hope to persuade them to come to our house to see the kids. By then the kids would have opened a lot of their presents and we were going to make a gingerbread house. I also told them how we feel neglected and that we feel that we always make the effort to visit, yet they never do. I told them that I am upset that my brother's children seem to come first and that sometimes we like to visit without everyone there (which I've said to them before, but my mom always tells me how much my brother likes to see the kids play, so I guess his opinion is worth more than mine). I hope they take it well.

Do you struggle with this? Why is it so difficult? I hope that when I'm a grandparent I'll understand and go with the flow. I'm sure it'll be hard not to see the kids and grandkids on the specific holiday day, but I think I'd also be willing to go to them if that's what works. Or to celebrate the season. It's not about the specific day, is it?

Saving my behind (in other words, Getting Caught Up)

Whew! After the last week or so, I've got awards piling up. I'm definitely honored. I've got more bling that Puffy or P Diddy or Sean or whatever the hell that guy calls himself.

First off, Cami wants to get me in bed. I mean she invited me to a slumber party. What fun THAT would be!

To the party, I would also like to invite:

Lisa- we actually had many a slumber party in our day. And what fun we had.

and

Veronica- since she's up anyway.

Next, Cami also gave me this lovely piece of bling

I'm not sure that my skillz are that good, but I try.

I'd like to pass this one on to:

Ingrid- who has mad writing skillz.

and

Meghan- who has mad photography skillz.

and

Stephanie- who can create anything out of fabric. Seriously! She had J's b-day dress and a quilt for her when she was born. This woman is TALENTED!

Then, Dixiechick gave me this award, because I enjoy pimping out my friends.

And then she gave me this:

Which I would like to pass on to:

Sybil- Since she had a few extra bananas at one point.

and

Casey- because that woman can cook!

Whew! I feel better now.

But, there's one more thing. That lovely tattooed woman also tagged me for a meme. So, here goes:

8 Things I Am Passionate About

my kids

my husband

my job

anything Disney

equal rights

chocolate

the Internet

sex (I mean, that's a given, right?)

8 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

watch my children become adults

meet my grandchildren

go on a Mediterranean cruise

deliver a baby (like me help deliver it for someone else, I've already delivered four of my own)

have money in my savings account

travel the country in an RV

figure out Windows Vista

meet Johnny Depp (I can dream, can't I?)

8 Things I Say Often

Ass is a bad word.

Even when you call Daddy an ass it's still a bad word.

We don't say the word poop unless we're in the bathroom.

For the love of God...

I'm going to kick you out of the kitchen!

Get down!

Stop telling your brother what to do.

I missed you.

8 Books I Have Read Recently

Term Limits by Vince Flynn (a good thriller)

Protect and Defend by Vince Flynn

The Kite Runner

Pinkalicious (great kids book)

When in the Hell is Dora? I mean, Can You Find Dora?

How to Talk So You're Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk

Bedtime for Frances (my favorite story as a kid)

I can't even remember another one.

8 Songs I Could Listen To Over And Over

Christmas Canons by Trans Siberian Orchestra (I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG, not to mention it's a version of the song that I walked down the aisle to)

Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

No One by Alicia Keys

Hotel California by The Eagles

Bon Jovi (pretty much anything)

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Fire and Ice by Pat Benetar

8 Things That Attract Me To My Best Friends

honesty

support

laughter

reciprocation

patience

intelligence

common beliefs

the ability to listen

8 People Who Should Totally Do This Meme

Keara

Lisa

Sara

And anyone else who feels like it.

There, all caught up! Check back tomorrow before I leave. I'll give you a glimpse at the Polar Express last year!

So. Far. Behind.

Ugh! I'm so far behind on posting. I have awards piling up (thanks friends) and memes to do (um, yeah, thanks). But, I have been doing my Christmas baking. I made 30 loaves of bread and tomorrow will make fudge and truffles and holiday bark and rum balls. Then, next weekend, I'll make a ton of cookies. And we're going on The Polar Express on Thursday and Friday and we're having a Holiday Open House on Sunday. So, yeah, I'll see you when I see you.

But, I am currently watching the Saturday Night Light Best of Will Ferrell (who is my favorite), so I'll leave you with my favorite bit of all time. Enjoy!

I made it! I'm still alive!

So, I made it through the party. Let me tell you, those girls have more energy and talk louder than anyone I know! They just didn't stop, not once. Yeah, not even to sleep! Two of them did crash out from 2:30-6:30, but the other two didn't stop at all!

Let me suggest that tie dying shirts should NOT, I repeat, NOT be done by crazy sugared up 13 year old girls. There was dye flying everywhere! And I had just had the carpets cleaned! But, the shirts were a major success. They came out really cool and the girls loved them.

As for the sundaes, um yeah. I didn't put out the wipe cream. Although I warned them that when giving a written list of demands, next time they better be spelled correctly or they'll get what they ask for.

Chubby bunny! OMG! This was SO funny. I have some pics that I'll have to upload. They were stuffing those marshmallows in there. And drooling and spitting them out. Brought back some crazy memories.

They did a lot of hopping in and out of the hot tub. And they even jumped in the 60 degree pool! Crazy girls.

They also played Dance, Dance Revolution. I don't know how these kids get so coordinated. I couldn't pass one level, but they just kept going and going.

We gave Carissa a digital camera for her birthday and they had TONS of fun with that. Thank God it was still the innocent fun, not the myspace teen porn type of fun.

I don't know if they made prank calls. As long as they did it from their cell phones, that's fine with me. I just didn't want angry people calling my house back because they didn't block the caller ID. One day I'll have to share some of my best prank calls (you remember those days Lisa)!

Unfortunately, the little ones didn't sleep. There was too much excitement in the house. They went down around 10:00 and then were fitful until 5:00 when they decided to wake for the day.
So I was very tired last night. Add to that the fact that one of the parents was mad that his daughter missed church, so he didn't pick her up. At all. She called and called and he wouldn't answer. Finally at 5:00 last night (they were supposed to leave between 10:00 and 11:00) he called and told her to have me bring her home. Real nice!

Glutton for punishment

That's me. Why is it when you're a parent you sacrifice yourself for their happiness? Or your sleep to be exact.

Not only have I had babies in my bed for the last three years, tonight we've invited three 13 year old girls to spend the night.

Next week is Carissa's birthday. So, tonight three of her friends are spending the night. Did I mention that they're 13?

They already have a "plan" of what they're going to do. Some things on the list were: play chubby bunny (you know, where you cram marshmallows into your mouth), make prank calls (oh the fun I had doing this, they will NOT be doing this though), decorate T shirts (we're doing tie dye), play games, truth or dare, make sundaes (they listed the ingredients they want, one was "wipe cream", dare I put out the Preparation H?) and go in the hot tub.

No where on this list is SLEEP! Say a prayer for me. I don't so much care if they stay up all night, but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don't wake up the other children! I can send the older kids home the next day, the younger ones stay with me!

Get out the Kleenex!

What is it about this time of year?

It makes me all sappy and weepy. Even though I'm not hormonally pregnant this year (imagine that)! Maybe that's why this year is even worse than normal.

I am trying to cherish every holiday with my kids while they are little. I swear, I get panic attacks just thinking about how they will get older and move out. And what if they move far away and we don't spend the holidays together? That causes me some serious heart palpitations! I know my parents are having a hard time with this. All the kids are grown and out of the house. We now have to coordinate with our small immediate family, plus in laws, plus extended families. We'll probably do Christmas with my parents the Saturday before Christmas. This leaves them all alone for the actual holiday. I invite them to come to our house (as we don't like to make the kids travel on Christmas day), but I know they won't. I makes me sad to think that someday that might be us (although I'm pretty sure I'd rather drive two hours to my child's house than spend the day alone).

This year is the first year that Jocelyn can appreciate Christmas decorations. Seeing her eyes light up the first time she saw the Christmas tree brought tears to my eyes. Pretty soon it'll just be routine to her and not awe inspiring . And that makes me sad.

Xander is just starting to understand the whole "Santa thing". It's so funny to hear him ask his questions about Santa and how he gets here and gets the presents here. He doesn't understand why he didn't get a "Diego camera" the other day, right after he sat on Santa's lap. It's so cute to see his innocence. In a few weeks we'll go on our yearly trip to The Polar Express. I can't wait to see his reaction this year. I'm sure that'll make me all teary too.

And then every day our radio station grants "Christmas wishes". People write in about people they know that are going through hard times and that might not be able to provide a Christmas for their children. Then the radio station grants the wish. They give the family clothes, toys, gift certificates to the grocery store, a Christmas tree and usually they help with their utilities and rent. It gets me every time. Every single time. I drive to work bawling like a baby. It's amazing what people can do for each other.

And then the commercials. How about the commercial when the son (he's in his early 20's) buys and suit and shows up unexpectedly at his mom's house for the holidays? Sobbing like a baby here! They tug at my heartstrings!

I guess I'm just turning into an old sap. I'm happy with my current life and I get all weepy when I think about how it has to change. I wish I could just freeze the kids in time. I don't want them to grow older. I want Christmas to be special and cool for them forever. I always want them to spend it with me. I want everyone to get everything they want for Christmas. I want to believe in the good of people everywhere.

So, pass the tissue please.

I am thankful...

-for the fact that I got to come to work today. Peace and quiet, amen! Just me and my computer. No one to cook for, no one to yell at for removing all the Christmas tree ornaments.

- for the cow that gave me my lovely hamburger for lunch. I am SO sick of turkey. It was nice to eat some MEAT!

-for my boss not giving me too much to do today so I could finish my online shopping and start catching up on blogs.

-for my van that held all of my Black Friday purchases. It was a tight fit, but they all got in there.

-for my friends and daughter who got up at 3:00 a.m. to shop with me. We even made the news!

-for my husband, who braved the attic and got down all 2384798754 boxes of Christmas decorations so that I could put them up yesterday.

-for my credit card company not denying any of my purchases this weekend.

Happy Holidays!

Thanks, I needed that

Thanks for all of the hugs yesterday. They were definitely needed. Fortunately, I think we've got things at school under control. She was telling the truth. The principal got right on it and spoke to everyone involved. The school is taking action. The school resource officer (a sheriff's deputy) is also involved. I believe we have come to a solution that everyone is happy with. Needless to say, it wasn't easy coming to that solution. I feel for the other family because I don't believe that what was done was malicious, but that it was a stupid mistake. But, we have to honor Carissa's feelings and make sure that she is validated and feels that the situation was handled properly. And I don't want her to ever feel that we dropped the ball and left her hanging. But, what an ordeal.





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On a much happier note, ages ago, the wonderful Jo presented me with this lovely award. Thanks you so much!

I would like to pass this award on to:

Heather who is The Queen of Shake-Shake .

Casey from moosh in indy

The queen of funny BOSSY (I know she's hugely famous and has millions of votes and awards, but damn she is SO funny.)

Go visit Jo to pick your copy of the award. And pass it on!

I need a hug

Let's just say that things aren't all happy, happy, joy, joy right now.

I, myself, am feeling overwhelmed lately. With Christmas and all the planning involved and feeling guilty when we don't get together with everyone on Christmas dayand the anxiety over spending money.
With the kids and all the work involved, not to mention Science Fair and doctor's appointments and schoolwork and soccer and baseball and and...

Robert is miserable on midnights. It's just not working. I think he's going to switch to day shift next time. It'll suck because he'll be gone from 7:00 am- 7:00 pm, but at least he'll be happier. And feeling better.

And something happened to Carissa the other day and it sucks. Not to go into details but it really sucks. And we're having to get others involved. And it sucks that it even happened. But, what sucks worse it that I don't know that I completely believe her. See, she lies a lot. And very convincingly. Like with tears and drama, the whole nine yards. I really think this happened, but because of her history a little tiny part of me is doubting her. And I HATE that I feel that way. HATE IT. I wish I could just believe her and support her, but instead I'm wondering if this is going to turn on us and that she's going to be lying. I pray that she' s not (not that I really want this thing to have happened, but I really want her to be telling the truth).

So, can I just get a hug? Thanks.

Click the bunny!


Look at me all famous and stuff! Just kidding. But, I guest posted at Megan's so she could keep up with Naneenaneepoopoo or whatever it's called.

Let the Countdown Begin

No, not the countdown for Christmas. The OTHER countdown. The BIG one.

Seven days until Black Friday!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!

I really am a fanatic. I think it's because I'm such a bargain shopper. I am obsessed with saving money. Most of my purchases are very well thought out and researched. I'm the queen of cheap travel (but nice travel), grocery coupons and the clearance racks. I LOVE to get a good buy. I rarely buy anything full price, from food to clothes to toys.

That's why Black Friday is my favorite day. I can get TONS of good deals all in one day. Enough deals to last me through all of the birthdays for the whole year! I have a closet stocked full of things that I buy on BF for every birthday party we might be invited to for a whole year.

I love the thrill of it too. And the crowds. I love the crowds. It marks the beginning of the holiday season for me. The beginning of the holiday season, starts at 3:00 a.m. on November 23rd this year!

I have a whole strategy. I read the ads for weeks ahead of time, plan what I'm buying, plan the whole day- Kohls, Circuit City, Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, Sears and Target. My friend and I take turns waiting in the hellish checkout lines while the other goes and stacks their arms as high as possible. Carts are not an option.

This year, my friend is going out of town for Thanksgiving, so I'm on my own. I might have found someone else to go with me, but it's not the same. We have a tradition! We've done it for years now. When I was about to pop with Xander (and subsequently almost passed out in Toys R Us), the next year when I was pregnant with Jocelyn (luckily I did better that time) and the year after.

So, be thinking of me when you're still wrapped up in your warm blankets. I'll be camped out with my coffee, chatting up strangers in the line! I'll have to take a picture of my loot and post it next week. After my nap!

What do you do all day?

Ahhh, I've been so busy. Just a quick post. I'm trying to catch up on my reading, plus life. I'll be back in full form soon, promise.

So, I get asked questions about my job all the time. When I tell people that I work for a judge, they have tons of questions. They think it's like the shows on TV. And that I'm in the courtroom and all sorts of crazy stuff goes down. Um, no. Nothing like that.


Unfortunately, it's not really an exciting job. I do love my job and love my boss, but it's not all that glamorous. On the TV shows, the others get all the limelight. They never show the Judicial Administrative Assistant. I'm not the bailiff, not the clerk in the courtroom, not the court reporter. I'm the behind the scenes girl.


Basically, I handle my judge's calendar, in and out of court. I do all of her secretarial type of work: typing letters, answering the phone, preparing her files, making travel arrangements, massaging her feet (just kidding). I draft her orders and rulings and get them filed. I am her bodyguard. Actually, I kindof am. I have to make sure that no one has ex-parte communication with her. So, I screen her calls and guests. Sometimes I research cases and past filings.


Right now we're on a Juvenile court rotation. And my judge is the Presiding Judge. So, she holds lots of meetings. Sometimes I have to take notes. A lot of times I have to work her schedule to make sure she gets to all of these meetings. That is a full time job itself.



It may not be glamorous, but my boss is the best. She is great about backing up her employees. And she always thanks us and lets it be known that she appreciates us. We have six women in our division and we get along wonderfully. I actually job share. I work the beginning of the week and she works the end of the week. It works out really nicely for us.


I have to admit that sometimes work is my respite. I love my children dearly, but sometimes I need to get out of the chaos and go to my quiet place. And I NEED adult interaction. It really is the best of both worlds. Plus, where else would I be able to catch up on all of my blog reading?

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

So, when I put out the call for questions, the great mielikki asked:

Christmas tree, live or fake?

I have to admit that I'm a Christmas tree snob. I like the tree to be uniform and matchy and beautiful. I LOVE the trees on display where all the ornaments are gold and red or blue and silver, etc.

So, I have to have a fake tree. They are uniform. And they come pre-lit, which is the BEST. And they hold the ornaments much better than a real tree. I think we only had a real tree twice when I was growing up. And I remember being frustrated that the ornaments wouldn't stay. And my dad took freakin' FOREVER to string the lights.

I have to admit that I put up two trees. And if I had room I'd have even more. I have a "family tree". It's 7 feet tall (we have vaulted ceilings) and it's pre-lit. This is the one that the kids decorate (and I redistribute the ornaments when they're in bed). All the "normal" ornaments go on this tree.

I also have "my" tree. It's only 5 1/2 feet tall. It's my fairy and snowflake tree. All the ornaments are blue and silver. And I string it with blue lights. I just love it.

How many trees do you have? Real or fake?

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In other news, I've been super busy around here. Cleaning closets and garages. Donating toys and clothes. And general organizing.
Corey- I plan to answer your question in four parts, when I get a minute.
Jo- Thanks for the award. I'll post it soon!
I have figured out the Truth or Dare meme, just need time to post it all.
I'm slowly catching up, but this weekend is busy. Soccer, football party, Christmas pictures, Veteran's Day, etc.

Picture Pages

Tutu courtesy of my friend Keara who makes custom tutu's (it's green and yellow bc she's going to wear it to Carissa's soccer games)
Someone wanted her brother's Popsicle.
Our after Halloween costume purchases


Carving pumpkins
From left to right: Jocelyn's, Xander's, Carissa's and Robert's (his first year doing his own carving)

Robert's treasure chest birthday cake. I put graham cracker crumbs around to look like sand. The rest is cake and candy.
Doing pirate activities

Jocelyn helped make the cake too!

Resolutions

What? You say it's not January? Not time to do resolutions (that always get broken)?

I beg to differ. (No, I agree that it's not January, for the love of god it's still 90 degrees here!) But, I have decided to make some resolutions. Does playing semantics really matter? Should I wait two more months to resolve to do something (when the bug is up my rear right now)? I don't think so.

And if I put them here, then you can challenge me and make sure I follow them. Please, ask me regularly if I'm keeping up. I need to be held accountable. And I can't count on my husband. He caves. Because he knows I'll punish him if he makes a remark about me not exercising, or anything similar. And he doesn't like my kind of punishment (let's just say that it involves the bedroom or doesn't for that matter).

So, here are my new resolutions:

1. Three hours of tv for me a day. Including days off, weekends, etc. I usually leave the tv on all day when I'm home. I don't sit and watch it, but it's always on and I'll occasionally glance at it. I resolve to only have it on when I'm watching it. And to limit what I'm watching. Catch up on my TiVo'd shows and maybe a little Today show. That's it.

2. I resolve to stop eating out at lunch time. Not completely stop, but cut back. I'm really bad about this. I am going to take $30 out of the bank at the beginning of the month and that's it. When it's gone, it's gone.

3. I resolve to stick to my Christmas spending budget. I always go WAY over, every Christmas. I need to set my budget and stick to it.

4. Get back on the exercise train. And stay on it. I resolve to do cardio at least 2x every week and weight training 2x every week.

5. I resolve to praise the kids more often. Try to catch them doing good things and reward them.

6. Get my pictures in order. This is something I procrastinate like crazy. I really need to get all the digitals in order and print some. Can you believe that I haven't printed more than a handful of pictures since 2000?! I need to slowly start printing my favorites. And I need to work on my digital scrapbooks.

7. I resolve to work on meal planning and follow through. I have the best laid plans, then end up falling back on the stand bys. I really want to get in the habit of preparing meals on Sunday and then just cooking/reheating them throughout the week. And doubling them and freezing them.

8. And I resolve to spend less time on the computer, especially at work. Just kidding! I just wanted to see if you were still reading. Actually, I don't spend much time on the computer at home, probably less than an hour a day. Work is a whole different story. Whenever I have free time I jump on. But, as long as my work is done then it's all good.

So, make me stick to it. Hold me accountable. Punish me, publicly humiliate me if I fail.

Help!

So, if you read my last post, you know that my mind is mush. And sometimes I just can't come up with good topics.


SOOOOOOO, I decided to steal my wonderful friend Megan's idea and ask for your help.

In the comments, ask me a question or questions. Anything and everything is fair game.

Help a girl out! You want to know what color polish is on my toes? I'm cool with that. You want to know what I ate for lunch? Sure thing.

Seriously, I was always the girl that chose truth. And I'd tell it. I'm not scared! So, let me have it!

Mush

I swear my mind is mush. I really thought I might jump on the whole post a day thing this month. Boy, am I glad I didn't commit. Some days I have tons of good ideas to blog about. And I write them down. Then the day comes and I'm not "feeling" it anymore. Sometimes I rethink it and decide it's really stupid. Or not a "current" topic.

And I hate to type up posts ahead of time and then post them on another day. Feels like cheating or something.

I don't know why I pressure myself like that! I have tons of random thoughts. Why don't I just write them down. They don't need to flow or make sense, right?

So, here are my random thoughts for the day:

-I have on pantyhose today. While I love the whole "suck it in" effect, I am allergic to elastic. So, by the end of the day I'll have a big red welt on my belly. Very sexy!
- I made a peanut butter cheesecake for work today. And ate it for breakfast.
-I have got to start working out again. Although, I've been off the Body for Life thing for 2 months and haven't gained a pound! Yay me!
-I NEED to get the kids Christmas pictures taken. But, it's EXHAUSTING. Maybe this year we'll do individual photos and a collage card.
-I need to get Cami's address to send some pirate stuff to K. Robert had a pirate birthday, complete with crafts and I wanted to send her some of the extras.
-I'm bummed because my friend that does Black Friday with me will be out of town. Anyone else want to get to Circuit City at 3:00am? Anyone?
-I really need to stop spending money. But, I have issues!
-I was SO excited that Amazing Race was on last night. Little Robert (I hate saying little and big but that's the only way people tell them apart), Carissa and I all climbed into my bed to watch it. We just love that show.
-I really need to upload some pictures. Why do I always put that off?
-I really need to start working on my mom's Christmas scrapbook.
- And I really need to write thank you notes to my cousin and my grandma. I'm really bad about that too.

Well, that reads more like a to do list. I guess that's why my brain is muddled. I have too much to do.

Here's the winning recipe from last week. The others were ok, but not great. This one was a favorite of everyone.

Spicy Chicken Enchiladas Verde

32oz salsa verde
4 cups shredded cooked chicken (I use a rotisserie chicken so it's easier)
1/2 c chopped cilantro
2 1/2 c shredded mont jack cheese
6 in tortillas (we prefer flour, but you can use corn)

Heat oven to 400. Mix chicken 1 1/2 c cheese, 1 c salsa and 1/4 c cilantro in bowl. Pour 1 cup of salsa in bottom of 13x9 dish. Take a tortilla and fill with chicken mixture, roll up and place seam down in dish. Repeat for all of chicken mixture. Pour remaining salsa on top, sprinkle with remaining cheese. cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Top with remaining cilantro.

Halloween Past

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I love to dress up. And I love all the scary decorations. The more gruesome, the better. Plus, who doesn't like candy?



And I love surprises. How much fun was it to dump your trick or treat bag out and gawk at all the candy? And the different kinds. Being the anal person that I am I would separate them into categories: chocolate, chewy, crappy, pennies (um yeah some stupid neighbor handed out packets of 10 pennies to each child), apples (I was never allowed to eat them). I'd give all of it away, EXCEPT the chocolate. I'm much the same now.



I can't remember what I was for each Halloween. But, I do remember some: a rabbit (hand stitched by my mom), a flapper, a hobo (thanks mom), a punk rocker, a construction worker (thanks again), a housewife, a dancer. And as an adult I've been: a pirate wench, a biker, a pregnant cat (with nipples and everything), a KISS fan and the Evil Queen. Oh, and a bride.



Yup, our wedding was on October 30th, 1999. We chose that day because it was as close to Halloween as we could get. I really wanted to have a costume wedding. But, being anal as I am, I was afraid that some people wouldn't dress up. Or that some would be cheesy stuff and not thinking it through. And I didn't want that. I wanted everyone to dress up in super cool costumes. And I didn't know how to get that point across without being a major bitch (something I usually don't have a problem with, but I wanted my husband's family to like me until we tied the knot). So, we had a traditional wedding. And it was a blast! The next day Carissa went trick or treating as a flower girl, go figure.

Family Fun Magazine

Thanks to my wonderful friend Corey, I decided to get a subscription to Family Fun Magazine ( I paid $4.70 for 4 years on ebay!).



This magazine is great! It has tons of great crafts, games, party ideas. And just general parenting tips and advice.



I have gotten two issues and just love it. Everything is very pratical, affordable and do-able.

I would say it's geared toward families with preschool through elementary age children. Some of the stuff would still apply to middle schoolers, but I think the younger ones are the focus.



I really like how everyday families share their ideas and thoughts. There are a lot of great original "traditions" that the families share. They are so good that I want to start them all in our family, but there are just too many.



Definitely check it out if you get a minute. And seriously, how can you not subscribe for that crazy price! (Check out other magazines too, I subscribed to 20 different magazines, most for multiple years for a total of $80! Even Sports Illustrated was only $30 for 3 years!)

Lunch conversations

I just spent a lovely lunch with my husband and Xander and Jocelyn. He stays home with them the two days a week that I work and they had some errands to run, so we met. Here are a few cute things that were said:

Xander: I can touch my mommy with my head, though.
(To my husband after he told him not to touch my work clothes with his greasy hands.)

Hubby: Xander, do you want some spicy chicken?
Xander: No, I don't like spicy jackass.
(I swear that child will use any opportunity to use the word jackass!)

Xander: Mommy, I want to go to work with you.
Me: I know, but you can't my boss will be mad. And I'll get in trouble. Do you want mommy to get in trouble?
Xander: Yes!

Jocelyn: More, mine (while reaching for the corn on the cob, wish I had a video of her eating it!)

And when it was time to go:
Xander: Mommy, I'm so happy to see you. When you're done with work will you come home to me?


***********************************************************************************

I forgot my favorite one.

I took Xander to the bathroom to go and to wash up.

I went first. When I finished he said,
Xander: Mommy, you went poopy?
Me: No I didn't.
Xander: Yes you did! I saw you use toilet paper.
Me: Girls use toilet paper even when they pee pee.
Xander: (really loudly) You did poopies and used toilet paper!
Me: Xander, mommy just went pee pee, but girls have to use toilet paper.
Xander: YOU WENT POOPIES!

An update of sorts

Carissa's game was fun. They lost 4-1, but played MUCH better than we expected. They need to work on taking a shot (they were too good about passing and forgot to take a shot if they could). And their defense needs to hustle a little more (there were quite a few break aways). But, overall, it was a good game. Of course, she acted like she hated every minute of it, but when doesn't she?

And I ended up taking the boys with me. They both heard us getting ready and woke up and cried because they wanted to go. I took them and they fought for the WHOLE game. And whined about being hungry and thirsty and hot. So, they will not be attending anymore games!

In other news we wrote up ten family rules this weekend. And posted them in plain view in the kitchen. Lately, we've been having real issues with sibling bickering. The older ones try to boss around and parent the younger ones. They purposefully antagonize each other. And we've had a lot of backtalk and whining and ungratefulness too. So, we implemented the rules and every time they break one they have to figure out which one it is, read it aloud and write it on a piece of paper. If they break the same rule three times in the same day they have to write it 10 times and lose a privilege. It seems to be working, for now.

Robert is on midnights and not doing too well. He doesn't get enough sleep and his eating gets all messed up. Making for a tired, worn-out daddy. I'm hoping he can get on some kind of detail that will put him back on a decent day shift. He doesn't like to work days in the field because his shift would be from 8am-6pm and you have to add an hour commute on each end. He would miss dinner every night, which he's not willing to do.

I have been very tired because it seems Jocelyn is going through a growth spurt, meaning she doesn't sleep at night. Even though I bring her in with me, she still flips and flops. This has been going on for over a week. But, last night seemed better, so hopefully she'll be back in her bed soon.

We went shopping this weekend and Old Navy already had their Halloween costumes on sale for half off. And I had a 20% off coupon (I am the queen of cheap). So, I got the kids the chicken, kangaroo and lion for only $9 each! Even if they don't wear them for future Halloween's, they're having a blast playing dress up. I may try to get some more costumes when they have the after Halloween sales.

This week we're trying a bunch of new recipes, so be on the lookout for the winners posted here. We're making Spicy Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas, Meatball Soup and Spinach Gnocchi.

UGH

So, do you see what time it is? Not you east coasters, you're 3 hours ahead. Yeah a little after 6:00!

I'm no morning person. Don't want to see birds or worms or the ass crack of dawn. Nope, I'd rather sleep til at least 7:00. Heck, I don't even get up this early on days I work.

Yet, here I sit, showered, dressed, markeuped. And voluntarily.

I know you're gripping your seat wondering why.

I'll tell you why.

Today Carissa has her first competitive soccer game. And it's in BFE and her Nazi coach thinks we should get there 45 minutes before the game!

But, I'm super excited. I know they probably won't win because they're a new team and they're playing girls that've been competitive for years. But, it's still fun. And it's really good for her. The discipline and physical work.

And it's good for me. Let's hope I still have a voice tomorrow.

BTW, I am not taking all the kids. My wonderful husband is on midnights and due home any minute to stay with all of them.

Life as a Wife

Wife of a law enforcement officer, I mean.

Many of you know that my husband works for the US Government as a law enforcement officer. He's been doing it for almost 10 years.

When he first got the job I was so excited. He really wanted it. And the whole "man in uniform" thing isn't a bad deal either.

Then he actually started the job. And I was scared. REALLY, REALLY scared. I mean, I'm afraid to be home alone at night, I can't imagine what it feels like to be out in the middle of nowhere by yourself in the middle of the night. So many things could happen to him.

Luckily, he's only had to pull his gun a handful of times. MOST of the time he doesn't encounter real "bad guys". But, it only takes one. We've had many, many talks about this. I truly believe that he is VERY capable and trained very well for his job. But, it just takes one crazy person with a gun.

Unfortunately, we've been to too many funerals for men that have been in these situations. And they are heartbreaking.

The biggest scare comes when he is late coming home and I haven't gotten a call to say why. My mind starts racing. And then the phone will ring. And I'll be gripped with dread. I KNOW in my head that they'll come to the house, they won't call if something happens, but it still scares me. One time I got a call at 1:00 in the morning. When I answered it was his supervisor looking for him. But, he was supposed to be at work. SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME. Why couldn't they find him? Why would they call his house in the middle of the night looking for him? Didn't they know what that would do to me?

Come to find out they didn't realize he was on shift and didn't even try to radio him. And the supervisor was a single guy who didn't even think about how I would feel. He later called to apologize.

While I'd never ask him to do anything else, this job still scares me. I've gotten used to it over the years and don't worry like I used to. But, whenever the phone rings or I get an unexpected caller at the door when he's at work, it makes my heart still for a moment.

It's tough. My friends sometimes don't understand. They think it's cool and ask all sorts of questions about his job. But, they don't understand.

Only the other wives do. And thank God for them. I don't think I would've gotten through these last 10 years without them.

Genetics

Stupid genetics. Where do they get off deciding whether the two recessive genes get put in my DNA?

I mean, I have two brothers, why couldn't they get the flat boobs gene? It's not like they'd care. Or even the gray hair gene. They both shave their heads, what would they care if they went completely gray by age 30?

Who says I have to get that crap? Why couldn't I get my grandma's boobs? Or my grandfather's dark hair?

And I know they're the recessive genes because my lovely daughter got the dominant boob gene. And that royally sucks! Who thought it was a good idea for me to have smaller boobs than my daughter?

At least I did get a few of the good ones. I've never had acne. A pimple here or there, but nothing serious. And I got the high tolerance for pain. Like extremely high. It makes it easy to get tattoos and birth children with no medication. But, it can be a curse too. Because I don't even know when I'm sick because I can't feel the pain. When I finally feel it, I'm REALLY sick.

I do find it interesting how the genes get mixed up when you have children. Who would've thought that I would pass on the blond (soon to be gray) hair and blue eyes to all of my children, despite the fact that my husband is Hispanic?

What are your favorite genetic traits? Which ones do you hate
?

I feel

honored and validated and all sorts of good things.

Let me explain. Awhile back I added Sitemeter to my blog. Mainly just to see if anyone was reading. Not that it's all about the numbers or anything. But, they do make you feel better, kinda like money. I know money doesn't buy happiness, but it kinda does.

Well, I rarely check my Sitemeter. I have a group of commenters and I love them and their blogs and that's been goood enough for me. But, I just so happened to have some extra time today and thought I'd give it a check.

Well, blow me down! Not only do people google "hippy makeup" "babywearing hippies" and "happy birthday sweet baby girl" and get my site. But, they are directed here from people that I've never met! That is just too cool! People actually have me listed on their blogrolls and we've never even "met". Thank you all. Seriously. It feels wonderful to know that people actually like to read my blatherings. I promise to frequent your blogs too!

I've actually met a LOT of people online. I met my local playgroup online before I met any of them in person. And I've met my closest friends online too. I have a whole group of mommies that all had babies in January 2005. We're still close friends almost three years later. And now I have a whole new group of blogging friends.

I guess I'll have to write Al Gore a thank you note for inventing this here Internet and helping me make new friends!

I scream...

for my ice cream. Soft serve, that is.


Why can't I find soft serve ice cream anymore? Is it a regional thing? We ALWAYS had soft serve in New York. We even had frozen custard. But, in Arizona (which you'd think would be the ice cream capital of the world) I can't find soft serve for the life of me. Everyone serves Dryers. Hello, I can buy that at the grocery store myself. And don't even get me started on Dairy Queen. THAT IS NOT ICE CREAM, IT'S ICE MILK. I used to work there, I know. They make it with milk, not cream, BIG difference.




I actually let my hard ice cream melt before I eat it. I don't like to bite my ice cream, I like to lick it. Am I old fashioned? Does no one do soft serve anymore? Am I completely out of touch with the modern world?


I really miss getting a swirl cone. That is one of my comfort foods. Especially with chocolate sprinkles.

To Drink or Not to Drink?

I know, not much of a dilemma. Always err on the safe side and drink.

Just kidding. Actually, I'm afraid in a few years I'm going to have to seriously ponder this and I really don't know where I stand.

See, the drinking involves teenagers. And since mine will be a teenager this year, I'm afraid this very dilemma will be coming up.

This weekend we were at a Halloween party. The people throwing the party have a teenage daughter that just graduated high school. At the party she was drinking. Alcohol. In front of her parents. Even with her parents.

I don't know how I feel about this. My gut reaction is that it's wrong. And that the parents shouldn't allow it.

But, I remember being a teenager. And if I didn't do it at home I was certainly going to do it somewhere. And I probably wouldn't be safe about it if I was somewhere else.

I just don't know. I don't want to give my kids the impression that it's ok to break the law, but I do want to make sure they're safe. And making sure they drink at home and don't leave would ensure their safety.

When I hear stories of parents arrested for Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor in these situations I'm sympathetic. Because I know that they were doing what they thought was right. But, I don't know if they are right.

What do you think?

All I know is that I don't ever want to hear the words, "Mom, come do a shot with me!"

Damn telemarketers

I swear, I don't know where they find these people. Actually I suspect that they find a lot of them in India now days, but I digress.

This morning I get to work. I'm trying to catch up on blogs and e-mail, you know, the important stuff. My phone rings. Usually it's not that bad. I'm the super smart girl in the office so usually I can get anyone off of the phone in seconds (I just refer them to the person that really knows what's going on). NOT TODAY!

I get some woman with a heavy Indian accent. I could barely understand her, but I did understand right up front that this had NOTHING to do with my job. Usually I can get telemarketers off the phone in seconds too, I just tell them this is a government office and they want nothing more to do with me.

But, not this biotch. And believe me, she was. She wants to ask me about all of the hundreds of computers in our building. Um, yeah, I don't work in IT. I have no fecking clue. I inform her of this, but she doesn't care. She tells me to just say, "I don't know" if I don't have the information. Um, ok, whatever, I'll play.

So here it goes:

Her: How many computers are at your location?
Me: I have no idea, hundreds.
Her: Ok, 100.
Me: No 100SSSSSSSS. Many more than 100.
Her: I'll make it easy on you and just put 100. (Easy on me? Whatever.)
Her: What brand are these 100 machines?
Me: There are more than 100 (under my breath) and I have no idea, mine's a Dell
Her: So all 100 machines are Dells?
Me: I have no idea, mine is a Dell, but I can't vouch for the rest
Her: SIGH (really loudly) are you planning to buy any more computers this year?
Me: I. Have. No. Idea. I don't work in IT.
More discussion regarding laptops, printers and copiers ensues. My answers remain the same. She is audibly getting VERY frustrated with me.
But, here's the kicker:
Her: Is your server located in your building?
Me: I.Have.No.Idea
Her: Let me make it easy for you, a main frame serves over 1,000 people and costs about $1 million a blah, blah, blah
Me: I.Have.No.Idea. I don't work in IT
Her: Look, I just need to have this questions answered.
Me: I don't have the answer and I really must go. HANG UP
Ring, ring
That crazy biotch called me back!
Her: Listen, I just need you to tell me. And she repeats really slowly what a mainframe is.
Me: I obviously don't have the information you need, I'm sorry. HANG UP
That crazy biotch calls me back, again!
Her: Please just answer the question
Me: I obviously can't help you. I already gave you the information to our IT department, they could have answered all of your questions. I don't appreciate you hounding me when I told you upfront that I didn't have the information for you. Now, I will be notifying them that they should not answer your questions because you are a crazy biotch.

What the hell gets into some of these people? Damn, she got me all hot and bothered so early in the morning. Not good for my blood pressure!

Politics

What's your thought on politics? Do you watch CNN, Fox News, Bill O'Reilly? Do you read the newspaper? Do you research your candidates?

I have to admit, I've never liked politics. I know what I believe in and that's good enough for me. Listening to some middle age men drone on about who's fault this is and why we owe this much money and blah, blah, blah. I know this makes me a bad voter. I know some of you are probably freaking out right now. But, I just can't get into it. I think ALL politicians lie. I think they are all pretty equal.

And I just don't understand global politics. I don't even know where half of these countries are. I just can't grasp the concepts. And I'm not stupid. It's just so boring to me that I can't take the time to do more research. I must admit that Social Studies was my least favorite subject in school. I didn't want to learn about any wars, past or present. I have an awful time just remembering what era they each happened in.

But, I do know how I feel on many issues. I support gay marriage, I support stem cell research, I do not believe in national health care, etc. I try to find a candidate that most closely meets how I feel. But, damn if it's not hard. I really wish they were more honest. Do any of us really vote 100% Republican or Democrat? Why do they always toe the party line? Why don't they just tell us how they really feel? I bet we'd be more likely to vote for them.

Funny thing is, I consider myself Republican, my husband considers himself Democrat. And he works in law enforcement and I work in a juvenile court with a focus on rehabilitation. Yet, we almost always vote for the same person. Why do we have to fall under a particular party. Why doesn't everyone just put their views on the table and let us all sort them out for ourselves.

Might be better than we've got.

Here I am

Um yeah. That's me. Notice my mad self photo taking skills? Maybe someone can give me a tutorial?

Let's start with the wedding. Good times had by all. I didn't get any of the ceremony because Jocelyn decided to walk all over the place and I needed to chase her.

Rehearsal dinner, J was a table dancer

My brother all dressed up next to the pastor.My kids and my cousins from DC. Hoarding all the bubbles.My nephew was crying when he walked down the aisle and all he wanted to do was hold Robert's hand. It was so sweet.Yikes! My 12 year old daughter next to my 22 year old cousin!Before everyone even came in she wanted to party like a rockstar!





My mom and my baby brother
Jocelyn and Popa


Jocelyn and Mima

DISNEYLAND

Xander LOVES sitting next to his brother.


Jocelyn's first ears

Dancing to her own beatHe really loves his sister!Robert got picked to be in the Jedi Training Academy. They give them a Jedi robe and a light saber and teach them some moves. Then they fight Darth Vader or Darth Maul. It was great! I'll try to get the video up soon.Trick or treating at Disneyland. TONS of fun!

We got our picture with the real Evil Queen and Jafar.
We went to The Aquarium of the Pacific one day. Here's a whole tank full of Nemo's and Dori's Petting the sharks and rays. I couldn't get Xander out of here. He loved it.And one day we went to Santa Monica Pier.

SOOOOO, if a picture's worth a thousand words then I'm all caught up after being away for two weeks, right?